Valentines came and went this year without much pomp and circumstance. As usual, I was too much in my own head and over-thinking, dwelling thanks to my OCD and anxiety, about my problems that I didnt take good care of my wife. I did feel bad about it, but the guilt was soon swept away after we started arguing over texting as we normally do. Its not a healthy relationship right now and as I am working on myself and getting help with a therapist, I also told Haley I would like her to do the same for the sake of the relationship, or I wouldnt be able to stay in the relationship out of my well-being and self-preservation. I still dont know her answer.
On the plus side it was my first Valentines being a father to a almost 3 yr old and 21 month old daughter! They spent the majority of the day at Daycare with Erika Crouch who lives about 15 minutes away here in Camden. They came home with these cute little valentines day boxes with their candy and cards. When Delilah gets home the first thing the always does is get on her little tricycle and wants to go "ride a bike". She calls the bike her "ride a bike". It is, by far, the most used gift I have ever given to her.
Delilah - says the cutest things and is the most adorable little girl I have ever interacted with. Shes 3 weeks away from turning 3.
The other night she was talking about how she wants to have milk come out of her (point to her nipples) to feed her baby. Last night we had a goodbye binky party where we cut up lilahs binky and gave her a cupcake. She gets a lot of ear infections and this gave us a good reason to do it sooner rather than later. She normally sleeps good but will come in about 5 or 6 to our bed and lay down with us in the morning. She loves going to erikas for daycare and is so animated about saying "daddy!' "your here!" whenever i go pick her up. Shes had 5 ear infections now in about 13 months and were going to look into getting a surgery for her where tubes are put into her ears to try and help drainage so that her ears dont get infected as much.
Ellie - short for Eliana is blonde blue eyes just like her daddy. She picks up on things fast and loves being chased. she also loves her food. last week she also had an ear infection and does not like her medicine so i've been mixing it with a little juice for her to get it down. She sleeps pretty good all night and takes 2 naps a day currently. Everyone still mistakes her for a boy. She likes to take bathes, paint, watch shows and cocomelon on TV and play outside. She eats oranges, apples without the peel, crackers, and loves potatoes in any form.
Haley - has started a new job with Enterprise the car rental company and works with retitling and registering cars. She drives about 30 mins one way every day Monday through Friday to Columbia for her job. When Spencer is working she has to leave around 7:40 am to drop the kids at daycare, then to work, and picks up the kids around 5:40 pm. She has liked the change of pace.
Spencer - finally got all my hours at PSA to where I am officially out of training (13 months after starting!) Usually this process is complete in about 3-4 months, but due to the shortage of pilots at the job, it has taken a long time. Theres definitely a learning curve still flying a 70 seat passenger jet compared to the little 2 seater airplanes I was flying before. I make mistakes and try to correct them the next time. Now that Im out of training and am paid a minimum salary, I dont have any motivation to pick up open time trips. I simply wait till i'm the last one on the list and get the call. I like being home with the girls and getting stuff done during the day when they are at daycare. Try to find time where I can for my guitar therapy, enjoy going on walks with dogs and also riding my segway scooter. Feet still hurt almost 18 months after surgery on heels so still dont feel up to running/jumping/working out, but if i did live closer to the Y or a gym, would pick up swimming regularly. With more time off these days I feel like the homemaker of the home. Things haleys done for the past 3 years! Get woken up by crying, change diapers, get girls dressed, make them breakfast, and then entertain them all day! now with the day-care it has been helpful dropping them off so I can complete more tasks and be more productive throughout the day. Its also good for the girls cause lilah loves having other little friends to play with.
We still live in camden, SC and have fifi and baxter as pets. Fifi destroys everything and has cost us a lot, but she is a sweet dog.
We have talked recently about wanting to move closer to columbia and charlotte for my job, but lately, trying to decide if it would be better for us to separate, work on ourselves and then maybe try to re-visit dating later down the road. We got married very quick and had kids fast too, so theres some unresolved issues that are now giving us grief. We love each other, but also a lot of days are just so over-bearing on each other that our happiness is jeopardized, so its a confusing relationship. I made this blog to be as real as possible and document the high points as well as the lows. This is one of those tough things in life that just happens and needs to be addressed and worked on. I love my family and will continue to try and put them above my needs and hope that Haley will do the same for me.
